The Job Factor

March 9, 2013

This blog might start out a little sad, but it does get better! I’ve discovered that when a person gives their life to Christ, that is the beginning of many lessons and stories to come!  Not all stories start out positive, but when God is the author He always turns it around for good!

Grieving. We link this word in with the lost of a loved one. We don’t only grieve over death, but also over things and changes we don’t understand. Recently, I left a ministry I was very passionate about. There were a lot of spiritual strongholds that occurred in my life and the only way to deal with those strongholds head on was for me to step down. My grieving began, as I left behind the passions, love, and people who I cared deeply about. This was not the only grieving I had to experience. Through leaving this ministry, I also lost a friend. Not to death, but friendship. My true mourning entered my heart as I had to also leave this friend behind and out of my life. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. During my mourning, I had a hard time thinking of other things besides my hurt from leaving the ministry and hurt from a friend. Countless times I cried it all out to God.

Before this time, a few other doors closed in my life as well. I started to feel like I was becoming more alone and being by myself than I wanted to. So many people had walked out of my life, and I felt I had nobody. I didn’t understand where God was going with all this. The past months and the future weeks that lay ahead have tested my endurance. I prayed for healing for my heart, only to find God didn’t give it to me instantly. He takes His time. And His time is not my time because His is perfect.

When in mourning, Satan doesn’t help matters. He likes to smudge in my face the hurt and remind me of my pain. I realize that even though I may not know why this storm occurred or why it began, it was God drawing me to be alone for a reason: to place Him first in all things.

Through the closed doors, God has drawn me to seek His face, peace, comfort, joy, heart, love, contentment, and complete surrender to His love for me period. He purposely allowed these doors to close forcing me to run to Him to show me how people will leave me but He never will, as it says in Hebrews 13:5 NASB, “…I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you”. While the words and thoughts of people change daily, the words and thoughts God has toward me do not.

I would ask God this, “Why would You bring me something good, only to take it away from me?” I don’t know why hurtful things happen sometimes, but I do know that God allowed this to happen so that I would place my relationship with Him above all others. I had no choice but to throw myself at Him through this storm because it came to where He was all I had left. By doing this, it allowed Him to change me to look more like Him and to take myself out of the picture frame and put Him in my place in this crazy adventure called life. John 3:30

Recently, God led me to read the book of Job. And what He had to show me through Job’s amazing story gave me passion and a new drive. Job 27:3-5 NASB says,” For as long as life is in me, And the breath of God is in my nostrils, My lips certainly will not speak unjustly, Nor will my tongue mutter deceit. Far be it from me that I should declare you right; Till I die I will not put away my integrity from me.” Through all Job had been through up until this time ( loosing livestock, home, children, and having discouraging friends and a discouraging wife, boils, disease, etc ) Job would not curse God and turn away even though God never gave Job a reason as to why he was suffering. Job, (a real human who felt hurt, pain, loneness, depression, discouragement and desperation) still kept running and crying to God. In time God blessed Job ever so greatly and he lived a long happy life with a new family, servants, and friends. You know when we are suffering through a trial we often want to blame and put hurt on someone else because we are hurting too. We don’t want to be the only one in pain. Through this current storm in my life you don’t know how much I have wanted to complain to someone about how, “So and so hurt me like this, she makes me feel like that. He needs to fess up and and apologize and blah blah blah.” Yes, I wanted to find the stick in someone else’s eye instead of removing the stick in my own eye. My flesh wanted to place hurt on others through words and actions, but the Spirit inside of me did otherwise. Instead, I took it to Jesus. He listened and allowed me to vent. And then He spoke to me love when I became ready. As I gave in more to that love, I was choosing the Spirit above my flesh. The whole time God understood my pain. He feels it along with me. That was all I needed the whole time from somebody. That somebody was Jesus Christ.

Within time, much healing has come. I still have some roads to walk as I continue to heal. I hope that in the storm you might be facing: your answer to “why” is Jesus. Sometimes God takes away everything to show us that He is the only one will remain standing…because He is all we need.

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To Start With…

March 8, 2013

Hello, my name is Erin. Welcome to my first blog! Why have a blog? Because I desire to share with you what God is doing in my life. I hope to encourage you, inspire you, and show off His beauty through writing and photography…since I am a photographer it kinda goes with it! Very soon I will be starting a new website with a new name and a new vision to be revealed in the later months of 2013. I desire to be real, and recently in my life its been kinda hard to do that. But its amazing how God breaks apart the strong holds in our lives when he allow Him to. And to no longer care about what other people may think about us. Instead, we only see what God see’s: His perfect unconditional love that goes beyond out imaginations.

I cannot wait to share with you the things God has placed on my heart. This is the beginning.

With Heart,

Erin