A Late Blog

February 13, 2014

I don’t expect many people to read this, since it is after 11 pm. But I know I am not the only one who becomes tired of enduring through discouraging and sometimes confusing times. When we lay down our dreams and desire’s before God, we honestly ask for Him to reveal what His will in our lives. By faith, we will seek His word and seek His movement in our everyday lives. That is something we should never stop doing, because even God tells us to seek Him in everything ( Isaiah45:11, 55:6 ).

But life is not like the moveis. The whole picture does not form before our eyes within two hours. Sometimes our testimonies can span in a matter of years before seeing the full works of God. I don’t know why it is like that, but that is no reason to not trust God since our lives are His not ours anyways.

I’m sure many can relate to waiting on God. I’ve actually been in a waiting season for a very long time, and yes it can be discouraging. Maybe great desire’s to better glorify God’s kindgom have fired up inside of you, and so you pray that if it be God’s will, He will make a way to open doors. Maybe those doors have never opened, and you’ve prayed for a long time for God’s guidance. Only it has been many months later, maybe even a couple years, and God has not said one word to you about it. Discouraging yes, but you seek His will. So of course, you personally ask God just what is His plan for your life, especially where you are at right now. You seek, eagerly pray, be content, work hard at your job, and even endure through tough times of being under-appreciated and taking on a lot of responsibility. You wait for your hard work to pay off, only that day feels it will never come. And maybe someone else gets the credit over all the hard work you’ve accomplished. Plain discouragement. You can’t figure out what you did wrong, or what you have missed. And at the end of the day, you feel discouraged and let down.


Jesus never said that following Him would be laid back. Sometimes, it is exhausting.  And because often nothing seems to be in sight, we just want to give up. But I believe those who truly belong to God cannot give up. Its just not in you to, because we have a connection with God not only through prayer ( which is a big bonus ), but as well through His Word. Times of trying faith is to trust God when we do not understand why He does the things He does, like maybe not revealing Himself more often as we’d like Him to. Through waiting times we have to draw closer to God because we want to know more of Him. God can use such times to be closer to us, if we choose to allow our hearts to be set on God and not on ourselves.

 “Be strong and courageous, and act; do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail your nor forsake you…” 1 Chronicles 28:20.  As a believer, taking it one day at a time, I have to choose God’s word over my feelings and thinking because it is by the Word of God do I gain new strength to get me through life’s challenges each and every day. It is the only way to fight and be victorious in the name of Jesus. Not in the name of “Erin,” but the name of Jesus.  Today at my job, I had a very discouraging moment and it happened early in the day. I’d rather not tell the story of it all, but discouragement had been building for some time lately. And this morning, it hit really hard and I couldn’t help but drive home and cry a little. Satan know’s how to hit hard and say to me, “Give it up already.” And even though I feel weary from it, I cannot give up because of the Word of God. I know the Bible is the most powerful weapon I own and the devil himself fears it. The Word of God defeats every lie of the enemy and gives life in trials where there seems to be no life. Because Jesus overcame death and the grave, nothing is too big for Him to overcome one tiny trial in the eyes of God Almighty.

I have gone over this verse many times where it says, “Cease striving and know that I am God;” Psalm 46:10. Since God never breaks His promises, we can trust that God will come through for us and Wow us in such a way that we never saw coming. Everything we go through in life is about bring honor and glory to Him. And it creates a testimony in us that constantly brings us to our knee’s humbly before Him. And it can draw others to his endless love.IMG_9224_1


Heart Deep Roots

April 15, 2013


Have you ever been through a storm in your life where you realize that through it’s long period of “storming,” you find yourself learning a lot of lessons? I’m currently in that place. I use to see the storms in life as something you just gotta get through and then go on with life. However, I’m learning that God doesn’t see storms in that way: He means for me to take everything that storm has to throw at me. I’m seeing I’m not going to “just get through” as I once believed, but there is a lot to take in that God is making me endure. I can go against it with my own freewill, but the fact is God will be patient with me until I get it right even if it takes ten more years before my eyes finally open for the first time. God is a god who always gets His way. And since I’m His, as the Bible speaks of so often, He will never let me go. It’s impossible for Him to.

Through this storm in my life, God has given me as the world would say, “too much patience.” I think of the first line in 1 Corinthians 13:4 where it says, “Love is patient.” This is a characteristic of God that I’ve seen so many different moments in the storm. Once again God is showing me that He’s with me through it, but He is also in it. I’m not just walking, striving, crying, hurting, and then I climb the top of the mountain and then it’s all over. No, this isn’t God. What God is inside of the storm, is Him showing me who He is instead of giving me the “why” for it all. What God is showing me are things about myself that I do not like but needs changing. He is bringing this to my attention. He is taking His hand and pulling up roots in my heart and yes…it hurts bad! But I hear Him whispering,” I do this because I love you, and I don’t want these roots of sin and hurt to be killing your life anymore.” This is where the patience comes in. And because I am such a stubborn person without realizing it at times, His patience comes in handy. And here’s the thing: I remember a while ago I asked God at the beginning of the storm to take ahold of any root inside of me and anything that needs to be resolved or changed to be brought to my attention. God is only doing what I asked Him to do in the first place! How is it that every single time I fail to see that it is gonna hurt? And how many times have you done the same thing and ask yourself,” Why does this have to be this hard?”

When God reveals things inside of us that are not right, we often backfire because we don’t like seeing that we are this person. It’s one thing if it happens to another. We love we forgive we pray, and we hope for the best for that person. But when it comes to ourselves, man! We much rather forget about it and act like it never happened. We don’t like seeing ourselves dirty. And often times we will blame somebody else for the dirty when most of the time it’s our own fault we have become this way. And that adds on to more dirty.

I asked God just a few hours ago,” God, show me in this storm that You care. And even if You don’t show it to me now, thats okay. I know You’ll show me in Your own time.” Do not think that your pain is not important to God. We can compare ourselves to someone who maybe going through a harder time than we, but don’t push your pain aside because of that. You matter to God. Your pain matters to God. What we are to do is take our focus off our pain and instead focus on who God is and what He has done and promises to do. And I am so glad that in this moment God did show up for me when I glanced down at my Bible and read this verse from Psalm 8: 3-4,” When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You take thought of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” NASB.  He care’s so much that when I ask Him to assure me of His love, He is always up for game.

I’ve learned that the longer you linger with heart deep roots, the more wounded one becomes and will often not see what God is trying to tell us. And I’m telling you, it hurts terribly allowing God to put His hand deep down into you and pull at those roots. I can see myself now saying, “God stop it! It hurts! I’m tired of hurting all the time! Can’t you just make it go away?” His response is, “Yes. By doing this, I am making your pain go away.” Never forget that by sending Jesus Christ to die on the cross as payment for our sins is also God sending new life into us to heal, to live, as He had planned us to live. And because Jesus died and rose again, we can have victory in our lives. Because of Jesus choosing to endure the cross, despising the shame ( Hebrews 12:2 ) , we too can endure ’til the end.



No Handle Bars

April 5, 2013

I just had one of those moments where I expressed a feeling of freedom: I tried riding my bike with no hands. Yeah! I’ve never done that before and today is such a lovely day that I decided to go for a bike ride. I was going down this hill really fast and I kept thinking about those moments in movies where the actors are riding their bikes without using the handle bar thingy and they almost feel like they are in another world. For me, it took a few tries before I finally got it right. Almost wrecked a few times but while I was riding really fast down this hill, no peddling, I decided to let go. I figured out that in order for this to work I had to first let go of my right hand and then my left. Don’t understand why, but the other way around I would almost fall to the ground. So anyway, in this moment I let both of my hands go and had both arms balancing myself straight. I felt like Rose in Titanic as she was at the front of the ship, letting the wind hit her hair and face. It was a pretty cool moment. Being able to do this actually felt joyful. It felt cool. Too bad nobody was around to see it. But God did. I believe He liked it just as much as me if not more.

In a moment like this one I experienced today, I feel God was in that moment. He was telling me, “I am your freedom. I am your joy. I am your love. I am in every moment of your life.” ‘Cause recently, I haven’t always felt joyful. Sometimes, I get tired of the same struggles that I seem to face from time to time. I’ll become reminded of some things that I’m not proud of, or that I regret, and getting passed those things have been pretty tough. I’m sure that you’ve felt like becoming limp and numb before because you’re just too tired of fighting for your life. Yes, being a Christian in this world, you fight. And you get tired. But maybe we get tired because too often we use our own strength instead of using the strength God gives us: His own.

God knows when we are tired. God wants to hear it from us. I’ve caught myself too many times not confessing how I feel in moments like these to God, thinking He already knows about it, or that its just not that important. But everything there is to do about me is important to God. And instead of giving over my fight to Him to fight I just let it run over me where I become limp and numb. Why should I ever doubt when God is bigger than the invisible darknesses that come to bring me down and destroy me? Why should I ever give up when God never gave up on me; For He sent is only Son to die for my sins and three days later conquer death once and for all for me to live eternally beside Him? Why should I ever walk away when daily He loves me by giving me breath to live another day for Him? In every storm, there are words to calm it. And only God can say them. Psalm 46:10  “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

I hope you have a moment of letting go of the handle bars in your life and allow God to steer you straight. And enjoy the freedom only He gives to those who ask for it.