A Late Blog

February 13, 2014

I don’t expect many people to read this, since it is after 11 pm. But I know I am not the only one who becomes tired of enduring through discouraging and sometimes confusing times. When we lay down our dreams and desire’s before God, we honestly ask for Him to reveal what His will in our lives. By faith, we will seek His word and seek His movement in our everyday lives. That is something we should never stop doing, because even God tells us to seek Him in everything ( Isaiah45:11, 55:6 ).

But life is not like the moveis. The whole picture does not form before our eyes within two hours. Sometimes our testimonies can span in a matter of years before seeing the full works of God. I don’t know why it is like that, but that is no reason to not trust God since our lives are His not ours anyways.

I’m sure many can relate to waiting on God. I’ve actually been in a waiting season for a very long time, and yes it can be discouraging. Maybe great desire’s to better glorify God’s kindgom have fired up inside of you, and so you pray that if it be God’s will, He will make a way to open doors. Maybe those doors have never opened, and you’ve prayed for a long time for God’s guidance. Only it has been many months later, maybe even a couple years, and God has not said one word to you about it. Discouraging yes, but you seek His will. So of course, you personally ask God just what is His plan for your life, especially where you are at right now. You seek, eagerly pray, be content, work hard at your job, and even endure through tough times of being under-appreciated and taking on a lot of responsibility. You wait for your hard work to pay off, only that day feels it will never come. And maybe someone else gets the credit over all the hard work you’ve accomplished. Plain discouragement. You can’t figure out what you did wrong, or what you have missed. And at the end of the day, you feel discouraged and let down.

 

Jesus never said that following Him would be laid back. Sometimes, it is exhausting.  And because often nothing seems to be in sight, we just want to give up. But I believe those who truly belong to God cannot give up. Its just not in you to, because we have a connection with God not only through prayer ( which is a big bonus ), but as well through His Word. Times of trying faith is to trust God when we do not understand why He does the things He does, like maybe not revealing Himself more often as we’d like Him to. Through waiting times we have to draw closer to God because we want to know more of Him. God can use such times to be closer to us, if we choose to allow our hearts to be set on God and not on ourselves.

 “Be strong and courageous, and act; do not be dismayed, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail your nor forsake you…” 1 Chronicles 28:20.  As a believer, taking it one day at a time, I have to choose God’s word over my feelings and thinking because it is by the Word of God do I gain new strength to get me through life’s challenges each and every day. It is the only way to fight and be victorious in the name of Jesus. Not in the name of “Erin,” but the name of Jesus.  Today at my job, I had a very discouraging moment and it happened early in the day. I’d rather not tell the story of it all, but discouragement had been building for some time lately. And this morning, it hit really hard and I couldn’t help but drive home and cry a little. Satan know’s how to hit hard and say to me, “Give it up already.” And even though I feel weary from it, I cannot give up because of the Word of God. I know the Bible is the most powerful weapon I own and the devil himself fears it. The Word of God defeats every lie of the enemy and gives life in trials where there seems to be no life. Because Jesus overcame death and the grave, nothing is too big for Him to overcome one tiny trial in the eyes of God Almighty.

I have gone over this verse many times where it says, “Cease striving and know that I am God;” Psalm 46:10. Since God never breaks His promises, we can trust that God will come through for us and Wow us in such a way that we never saw coming. Everything we go through in life is about bring honor and glory to Him. And it creates a testimony in us that constantly brings us to our knee’s humbly before Him. And it can draw others to his endless love.IMG_9224_1

Heart God

April 30, 2013

There have been many times where I would wake up, begin a new day, and struggle with being happy, joyful, faithful, and living a surrendered life. As soon as I would open my eyes thoughts of hurtful times, painful events, loss of love, or other distracting things that effected me spiritually would cause my days to be “wasted.” I knew what the Word of God said about “rejoicing always,” and “trust in the Lord,” and ” be on alert!” To be honest, I didn’t quite get the part of my actually doing those things. Because I realized how too often I would live my life for Jesus with my mind. Yes, to follow God, rely on Him, trust Him, be obedient, joyful; all these things are choices we must make with our own free will. But I’ve learned that when I do this with my mind, it doesn’t work out so well. In fact, I fail pretty hard pretty fast. I would be happy one minute and suddenly sad the next. Maybe it was because something small appeared in my life that reminded me of something painful that happened in the past. So then I’d feel sad and it take hours before I’d finally fess up and decide it was all a waste of time. Up and down. There is no way God had called me to live like this. And it gets tiring. Spiritually exhausting. So what the heck was I doing wrong?

I have learned in the past year just how stubborn and hard headed I really am. Yet I have also learned just how patient God is and has been and always will be. This has been a time for God to allow me to examine this one character trait about Him, and how I am a traffic jam without Him there. I am sure many can relate when from the very beginning of a spiritual journey you get the basics of being a God follower.You are taught the basics for many years but you still don’t get them or apply them because you don’t seem to see just how much you need to.You may not even realize that you’re not “getting it.” You’re blinded, and I believe we all have area’s where we are blinded in. Each person has a different spiritual blind spot that may take them many years before they can finally see. Many heart ache’s may happen. Friendship’s end. Disasters occur. Your heart and soul can only handle so much, yet we seek and seek God and read His Word and we still don’t get it: what the heck am I doing wrong? I’m reading the Bible. I’m going to church. I’m seeking to know God’s face and its not all an act: its because I want to know God and I want to know what He is doing in this time. I found myself trying to trust, believe, hold on to God with the wrong part of myself. I was trying to live and breath my life for Jesus with my mind, but I wasn’t living for Him with my heart.

God is a heart God. It is the most delicate thing God has given each of us, and He holds it to the highest regard. Our hearts are so so sacred. I don’t believe a person can realize just how sacred their heart is until they go through a storm, and then see that God speaks and responds to our hearts and not our minds. Our minds are a reflection of the things that are living in the heart. It starts in the heart, then to the mind, then often into words or actions and those things can be either good or bad. I believe how we gain spiritual blind spots in our spiritual lives is when we fail to acknowledge that our hearts need tending to, not our minds. That part comes later. With my mind, I have to force myself to be on good behavior. With my heart, it comes like second nature and I don’t have to think about it once. See the difference? Our hearts spring the flow of life ( Proverbs 4:23 NASB ). It is in our hearts we discover God. We discover how much we are in need of Him and His power to rule and protect our lives. With my mind, I’m practically telling God that I have the strength to live my day in harmony and He can sit back and watch from the sidelines. Only I always fail to keep myself in perfect harmony because I am human. I CAN’T be happy and joyful and at peace despite the circumstances without the power of Jesus Christ. I can’t be content in every circumstance without Jesus  speaking truth and love to my heart. I cannot be saved and called a child of the King without opening my heart up to Him, allowing Jesus to see my sins and asking Him to clean them away and be the Lord of my life. Even after we become Christians we can still loose sight of how God works. God does everything in my life through my heart.

I’ve realized it has been hard at times to completely open my heart to God. Sometimes hurtful circumstances can cause us to turn away. All we want to do is cry. We can do that, however, with our heart we can choose to trust Jesus. Allow Him to enter that deep section of our hearts we may have opened to others, but have closed the door for good. Psalm 62:8 says, “Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.” NKJV. I can read this verse with my mind, and it will go nowhere. I would live my day as if I never read it. Sure I’ll remember it and often repeat it in my head, but still be defeated during the day if I do not read this verse with my heart and allow God’s Word to change my heart. His promises cannot change my life if they do not first change my heart. The same goes with His loving words, faithful words, lovingkindness.

This is pretty basic isn’t it? I should have gotten this a long time ago. Yet, how many of us struggle with this very thing? It’s not that God has never spoken or acted to where our hearts responded, and then we have this amazing God moment that completely changed our lives and spiritual journey. Thats what church camp, youth groups and adult leader retreats are for right? But God longs to give us moments such as these daily. We must first acknowledge where God speaks. He speaks into our hearts. And we must listen with our hearts.

The Face Of Love

March 21, 2013

Yesterday I visited my grandma in the nursing home. I’m sad to say she is living her final days on this earth. She is 93 years old. I wasn’t close to my grandma. In fact the last time I saw her was about five or six years ago. She has for many years had a 96% blockage on both sides of her neck which causes her memory to slowly die away including her mental state.  It came to the point where she never wanted visitors, and when visitors did come she would tell them to leave her alone. It’s very upsetting for someone to get to this point, especially my grandma, because she has lived the 93 years of her life without Jesus Christ. And since her days are now numbered it concerns me more. You see she had a minor stroke earlier this week. What turned out to be minor became serious. It’s only a matter of days now.

Modern people today do not like religion being brought into the picture when it comes to life and death. The world may view Jesus as a religion, but no where in the Bible does it say He is. The Bible describes Jesus Christ as the face of love for a world who did not love Him back. A kind of love that to this very day still gets mocked and slapped in the face by every soul who lives. The face of love who physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually bore the sins of every person through His own blood. People call this religion. But tell me this: which other gods of many religions gave their life for the world? Is their god even still alive?

If we look deep down inside of us, there is a spirituality that is alive. Many of us toss it away and become unaware of it, but it’s there. When we are facing a hard time in our lives, something spiritual is happening. It’s called Hope. But we sometimes put our hope in things we can see and touch. Then it dies somewhere down the road and so we go looking for another thing we can see and touch. And we continue this cycle until when? We die? Is this the purpose of our lives? Then what is?

First, I want to say, that God chose each of us ( 1 Thes. 1:4 ). You know your journey. You know your stories and trials, but God knows them better. And He knew that there was no hope for us to survive on our own. Because of that, He sent His hope to us through Jesus Christ. We have tried to become good enough to be good enough for someone to like us, to get a job, to go to heaven one day, and so forth. But in Romans 3:10 is says,“…There is none righteous, not even one.”  The world has created the belief that the only bad thing a person can do is murder another. What other bad thing is there out there except maybe drugs? You tell me. But thats because it is by our standards. Nobody thinks about God’s standard, and His standard is a perfection nobody could ever try to become. God knows this, and so He made a way for us: through His Son Jesus Christ. ” For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.” John 3:17 NASB. What it means “through Him” was through death. “For the wages of sin is death…” Even Jesus, the perfect one to ever be, became the wage of our past sins, present and future sins. ” but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23 NASB. The gift is life. An eternal life. Our souls will live forever somewhere, but not on this earth. We do not see the importance of this because we are too busy living for ourselves. We live as if we are going to live forever. Or that we will live until we are 80 or 90 and believe that it’s so far away from now that we have all the time in the world. But how many people do you know who have not lived until old age, who died so young, some who didn’t even reach their 20’s? What makes us believe that we, ourselves, are the exception when the only one who holds the future is God Himself? You may not believe there is a God, but you have to admit, you do have faith to not believe. You see, you have something spiritual inside of you even if you don’t want it. Because faith is a God thing, not a flesh thing.

I’ve been praying for a miracle for my grandma. I hate putting it like this, but her mental state is so far gone that she is now a vegetable. She’s not living, just existing. And she has no idea what’s going on around her or inside of her. She’s knows nothing. But this is why God sends hope through His Son Jesus. Just His name alone makes the forces of darkness flee even in the most impossible situations and circumstances. We may not see it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Thats when faith comes in. In our fleshly minds, there is no hope of salvation for somebody like my grandma. But it says in Luke 1:37,” For nothing will be impossible with God.” NASB.  He is God. And it is His will for “all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9. As I looked at my grandma, not knowing who I was to her, kneeled down at her level and looked her in the eyes. I was about to leave, but I first said to her, “Goodbye grandma. Jesus loves you.” As I said those words, she looked right into my eyes. I wanted to say the name of Jesus to her, because I know the power and hope that is in His name. And I have no doubt that she heard every word I said to her.

John 14:6,”…I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” NASB. I ask that you pray with me for my grandma, despite her condition, will have understanding and gain knowledge of her need for Jesus even at the end of her long life, and to finally let Him into her heart.